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Joke: July 29 - LOTTERY FEVER
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TODAY's JOKE
July 29 ,1998
====================
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LOTTERY FEVER
---------------------
With all the craziness of the 250 million powerball lottery,
we thought you might enjoy these jokes. One was run a while back
but is so appropriate, we decided to run it agiain - since most
of you haven't seen it before
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to
Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We
give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread
out for the next 19 years."
The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now!
I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explain that he would only get a million
that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I
want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20
million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
********************
A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business
started going bust and he found himself in serious financial
trouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray for help.
"Oh Lord, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't
get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please
let me win the lotto".
Lotto night arrived and somebody else won the prize
Joe again looked up and prayed...
"Oh Lord, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business,
my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".
Again, Lotto night came and went and Joe still had no luck.
Once again, he prayed...
"Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business,
my house and my car. My wife and children are starving.
I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good
servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this
one time so I can get my life back in order ... "
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavens
opened and Joe was confronted by the voice of the Lord himself:
"JOE, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE ... BUY A TICKET!"
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