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Joke: July 17 - New Government Warnings




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                              TODAY's JOKE
                               July 17, 1998
                           ====================
RESULTS:
Yesterday's "RENT"  did greta - although there were a few complaints
A 5.6 from Joke-Of-The-Day.com members.

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                   NEW GOVERNMENT WARNINGS     
               ----------------------------------
As most Americans are familiar with, the federal government mandates 
health warings on Alcoholic products to warn people about the potential
negitive effects. This is also an increasing occurence in other countries
as well.

It has come to our attention, here at JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com, that a few
additional warning may be appropritate.

1.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
    that a "2" is a "10".

2.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
    boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH
    YOUR  HEAD IN.
 
3.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings
    like thish.
 
4.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
    ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the
    morning.
 
5.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
    the hell happened to your pants.
 
6.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over
    in the morning and see something really scary 
    (whose species and or name you can't remember).
 
7.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
    inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
 
8.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
    you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really 
    big guy, named Chuck.
  
9   WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
    people are laughing WITH you.

AND   Instead of warning women not to drink when they are pregnant
---   the new guidelines should read...

10. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
    pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.

NOTE: This list is intended as good fun.
While dancing stupidly is funny, driving stupidly is not. 
Please drink responsibly. We want you laughing with us for many years :)
  Eric, - JokeMaster

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