Joke: Error Message Haiku

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

     Haiku Help Messages:
           
           
           
     Three things are certain:
     Death, taxes, and lost data. 
     Guess which has occurred.
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     Everything is gone;
     Your life's work has been destroyed.
     Squeeze trigger (yes/no)? 
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     Windows NT crashed.
     I am the Blue Screen of Death. 
     No one hears your screams.
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     Seeing my great fault
     Through darkening blue windows 
     I begin again
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     The code was willing,
     It considered your request,
     But the chips were weak.
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     Printer not ready.
     Could be a fatal error.
     Have a pen handy?
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     A file that big?
     It might be very useful.
     But now it is gone.
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     Errors have occurred.
     We won't tell you where or why. 
     Lazy programmers.
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     Server's poor response
     Not quick enough for browser. 
     Timed out, plum blossom.
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     Chaos reigns within.
     Reflect, repent, and reboot. 
     Order shall return.
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     Login incorrect.
     Only perfect spellers may
     enter this system.
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     This site has been moved.
     We'd tell you where, but then we'd 
     have to delete you.
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     wind catches lily
     scatt'ring petals to the wind: 
     segmentation fault
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     ABORTED effort:
     Close all that you have.
     You ask way too much.
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     First snow, then silence.
     This thousand dollar screen dies 
     so beautifully.
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     With searching comes loss
     and the presence of absence: 
     "My Novel" not found.
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     The Tao that is seen
     Is not the true Tao, until
     You bring fresh toner.
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     The Web site you seek
     cannot be located but
     endless others exist
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     Stay the patient course
     Of little worth is your ire
     The network is down
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     A crash reduces
     your expensive computer
     to a simple stone.
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     There is a chasm
     of carbon and silicon
     the software can't bridge
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     Yesterday it worked
     Today it is not working
     Windows is like that
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     To have no errors
     Would be life without meaning 
     No struggle, no joy
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     You step in the stream,
     but the water has moved on.
     This page is not here.
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     No keyboard present
     Hit F1 to continue
     Zen engineering?
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     Hal, open the file
     Hal, open the damn file, Hal
     open the, please Hal
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     Out of memory.
     We wish to hold the whole sky,
     But we never will.
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     Having been erased,
     The document you're seeking
     Must now be retyped.
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     The ten thousand things
     How long do any persist?
     Netscape, too, has gone.
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     Rather than a beep
     Or a rude error message,
     These words: "File not found."
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     Serious error.
     All shortcuts have disappeared
     Screen. Mind. Both are blank.