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Joke: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic
How Hot Is It? - A True Story
A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate
students. It had one question:
"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.
#1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
#2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by
Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold
night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact
that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her,
then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
I Want To Be...
Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children
in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"
"A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed.
Sister Catherine breathed a sigh of relief and said
"Whew! Thank God! I thought you said 'A Protestant'!"