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Humor: Parental definitions

>PARENTING DEFINITIONS
>>     
>>     
>> DUMBWAITER
>>      one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
>>     
>> FAMILY PLANNING
>>      the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to
>keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
>>     
>> FEEDBACK
>>      the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the
>>strained carrots.
>>     
>> FULL NAME
>>      what you call your child when you're mad at him.
>>     
>> GRANDPARENTS
>>      the people who think your children are wonderful even though
>>they're sure you're not raising them right.
>>     
>> HEARSAY
>>      what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
>>     
>> IMPREGNABLE
>>      a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
>>     
>> INDEPENDENT
>>      how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we
>>say.
>>     
>> OW
>>      the first word spoken by children with older siblings.
>>     
>> PRENATAL
>>      when your life was still somewhat your own.
>>     
>> PUDDLE
>>      a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
>>shoes into it.
>>     
>> SHOW OFF
>>      a child who is more talented than yours.
>>     
>> STERILIZE
>>      what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to
>>your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
>>     
>> TOP BUNK
>>      where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
>>     
>> TWO MINUTE WARNING
>>      when the baby's face turns red and he begins to make those
>>familiar grunting noises.
>>     
>> VERBAL
>>      able to whine in words.
>>     
>> WHODUNIT
>>      none of the kids that live in your house.

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