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FW: (fwd)
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sat, 28 Mar 1998 13:41:44 -0700
From: Terry Blanchard <diveall@fia.net>
To: 'Allen Lowry' <allenl@simn.com>,
'Bob Kofford' <kofford@mail.cybernect.com>,
'Brian Blanchard' <blanchrd@iland.net>,
'Brian Thelin' <Bthelin@IdahoAccess.com>,
'Crystal Cureton' <raystv@navix.net>, 'Dave Malmberg' <drmalm@aol.com>,
'Janet New' <jnew604379@aol.com>, 'Jimmy Fowers' <jfowers@allwest.net>,
'John Miller' <jmiller@bitcorp.net>, 'Kenny Weston' <kjktkw@tfs.net>,
'Larry Benson' <lawrenceb@mslnpo.qstr.com>,
'Marvin Green' <jomarv@msn.com>, 'Neil Kilbourn' <nkas66@aol.com>,
'Ron Vanderstappen' <ronjvan@worldnet.att.net>,
'RUTHANN BLANCHARD' <blanch15@juno.com>,
'Terry Bett' <terry_bettridge@bdits.bd.com>
Subject: FW:
-----Original Message-----
From: John Miller [SMTP:jmiller@bitcorp.net]
Sent: Thursday, March 26, 1998 2:32 PM
To: 'Bill Robertson'; 'Ray Malheiro'; 'Rod Thomas'; 'Terry Blanchard'
Subject:
An elderly priest invited a young priest over for dinner. During the meal,
the young priest couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the
housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening he started to wonder if
there was more between the elderly priest and the housekeeper than met the
eye. Reading the young priest's thoughts, the elderly priest volunteered,
"I know you what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship
with my housekeeper is purely professional."
About a week later, the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said,
"Father, ever since the young father came to dinner, I've been unable to
find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it do
you?" The elderly priest said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write him a
letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that you 'did' take
the gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take the
gravy ladle. But, the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you
were here for dinner."
Several days later, the elderly priest received a letter from the young
priest which read:
"Dear Father, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your housekeeper, and
I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with your housekeeper. But the fact
remains, that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the
gravy ladle by now."
+++++
The ABSOLUTE WORST things to say to a Police Officer:
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
That uniform makes your butt look really big.
Your not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on Cops?
I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket
And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy.
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police
Officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad Cop! No Donut!
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night
stand...
When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the
camcorder.
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at
McDonald's?
I pay your salary!
Those sirens are hurting my ears, turn them off or I'm not speaking to you.
Gee, thanks officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car
around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
Sorry I can't hear you over the radio. No I am not turning it down; I love
this song. Either speak up or just leave me alone.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap
and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed
out of control.
Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
John Miller
404 W. Ironwood Drive
Salt Lake City, Utah 84115
(801) 464-1600 - Main
(801) 464-1665 - Direct
(801) 464-1699 - Fax
mailto:jmiller@bitcorp.net
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