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Joke: March 14/15 - They Really Said It!
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TODAY's JOKE
March 14/15, 1998
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THEY REALLY SAID IT
- Submitted by A. Liston
------------------------------------
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was I failed to comply with
the law."
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations
that he failed to pay his taxes.
Question: "If you could live forever, would you and why?"
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest.
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
reactions in the brain as marijuana... The researchers also discovered
other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country."
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this
century's history...We all lived in this century. I didn't live in
this century."
- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican
vice-presidential candidate during a news conference in which he was
asked his opinion of the Holocaust.
"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are
vastly underpolluted."
- Lawrence Summers, chief economist the World
Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to the Third World.
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