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Joke: March 17 - The Search Committee
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TODAY's JOKE
March 17, 1998
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THE PASTORAL SEARCH COMMITTEE
- Submitted by John Bright
------------------------------
PASTOR SEARCH COMMITTEE REPORT
In our search for a suitable pastor, the following scratch
sheet was developed for your perusal. Of the candidates investigated by
the committee, only one was found to have the necessary qualities. The
list contains the names of the candidates and comments on each, should
you be interested in investigating them further for future pastoral
placements.
NOAH: He has 120 years of preaching experience, but no
converts.
MOSES: He stutters; and his former congregation says he loses
his temper over trivial things.
ABRAHAM: He took off to Egypt during hard times. We heard that
he got into trouble with the authorities and then tried to lie his way
out.
DAVID: He is an unacceptable moral character. He might have
been considered for minister of music had he not 'fallen.'
SOLOMON: He has a reputation for wisdom but fails to practice
what he preaches.
ELIJAH: He proved to be inconsistent, and is known to fold
under pressure.
HOSEA: His family life is in a shambles. Divorced, and
remarried to a prostitute.
JEREMIAH: He is too emotional, alarmist; some say a real 'pain
in the neck.'
AMOS: Comes from a farming background. Better off picking figs.
JOHN: He says he is a Baptist but lacks tact and dresses like a
hippie. Would not feel comfortable at a church potluck supper.
PETER: Has a bad temper, and was heard to have even denied
Christ publicly.
PAUL: We found him to lack tact. He is too harsh, his
appearance is contemptible, and he preaches far too long.
TIMOTHY: He has potential, but is much too young for the
position.
JESUS: He tends to offend church members with his preaching,
especially Bible scholars. He is also too controversial. He even
offended the search committee with his pointed questions.
JUDAS: He seemed to be very practical, co-operative, good with
money, cares for the poor, and dresses well. We all agreed that he is
just the man we are looking for to fill the vacancy as our Senior
Pastor.
Thank you for all you have done in assisting us with our
pastoral search.
Pastoral Search Committee chairman
PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR. Thanks
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