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Joke: February 13 Happy Valentines Day
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TODAY's JOKE
February 13, 1998
====================
RESULTS:
Yesterday's Valentine Joke did reasonably well
A 4.8 from Joke Members
NOTE: Wejust received a joke submitted on resume mistakes that had
been forwarded back in November from the now famous, MONICA.
If you want the full copy of the e-mail below, e-mail us at MONICA@joke-of-the-day.com
>>>>From: Lewinsky, Monica, ,
>>>OSD/PA[SMTP:mlewinsk@pagate.pa.osd.mil]
>>>>Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 1997 10:12 AM
>>>>To: Josh Gross
>>>>Subject: RE: [Fwd: Fwd: [Fwd: Fwd: AXE: Resume Mistakes (fwd)]]
Rate the Joke below! and *** FORWARD TO FRIENDS ***
Spread The Fun
LOVE, LUST AND MARRIAGE
-----------------------------
This is not meant to be an affront against marriage. If you're married
and some of this hits home, than it's a perfect time to spice up
your life on Valentines Day
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?
LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over money.
LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - What's a climax?
LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch.
LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.
LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When you couldn care less
MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.
LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..."
LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..."
MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief.
LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.
LOVE - When your heart flutters everytime you see them.
LUST - When your groin twitches everytime you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties everytime you see them.
LOVE - When nobody else matters.
LUST - When nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.
LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought.
LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT ON VALENTINES DAY (Not a Joke)
- Submitted by Jody Davis
------------------------------------
Top Ten Things Guys Like About Girls:
1) The way they smile.
2) How they always smell so good.
3) How they laugh.
4) The way they take so long to get ready.
5) The way they dress.
6) How they put their make up on.
7) The way they say,"I love you."
8) How their little hands fit perfectly in the guys hands.
9) How guys can put their arms all the way around her waist.
10) Their sweet personality.
Top Ten Things Girls Like About Guys:
1) The way they try to act so tough.
2) How they write girls letters.
3) The way they smell.
4) How they feel so safe in their arms.
5) When they aren't afraid to admit things.
6) The way they say,"I love you.'
7) The way they go shoping with you.
8) When they call you to make you feel better.
9) When they bring you something when your feeling down.
10) How they always seem to want to love you.
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