Wisedumb...

[Christine_Chiang@gap.com]

Christine Chiang@GAPINC
12/08/97 11:34 AM

---------------------- Forwarded by Christine Chiang/SF/GAPINC on 12/08/97
11:36 AM ---------------------------

From: rserafino @ montgomery.com on 12/08/97 10:41 AM

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cc:
Subject:  Wisedumb...






          Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
          One good turn gets most of the blankets.
          There are two kinds of pedestrians- the quick and the
dead.
          Life is sexually transmitted.
          An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who
said, "Quit while you're ahead"?
          Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.
          Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the
better
lawyer.
          Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
          Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
          Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
          Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
          After marriage, the "Y"  becomes silent.
          Don't sweat petty things, or pet sweaty things.
          I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn
louder.
          Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
          Black holes are where God divided by zero.
          All those who believe in phsycokinesis raise my hand.
          Multitasking: Screwing up several things at one time.
          Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
          Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
          Atheism is a non-profit organization.
          On the other hand, you have different fingers..
          If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that
you tried.
          A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
          There's no future in time travel.
          Smith and Wesson: The original point and click
interface.
          Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard
drive?
          What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
          Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots.
          Why do Psychics have to ask you your name?
          I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
          How does Teflon stick to the pan?
          There's an exception to every rule, except this one.
          Plaster cast: Free beer backstage.
          Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak.