[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
Joke: December 22 - The 12 Days of Christmas with pictures
_ _ __
(_) ___ | | _____ ___ / _|
| |/ _ \| |/ / _ \ / _ \| |_
| | (_) | < __/ | (_) | _|
_/ |\___/|_|\_\___| \___/|_|
|__/
_ _ _
| |_| |__ ___ __| | __ _ _ _
| __| '_ \ / _ \ / _` |/ _` | | | |
| |_| | | | __/ | (_| | (_| | |_| |
\__|_| |_|\___| \__,_|\__,_|\__, |
|___/sm
http://www.joke-of-the-day.com
"The World's Largest Daily Joke List"
#########################################################
# To get a Great Joke everyday, send a blank e-mail to: #
# #
# Join@joke-of-the-day.com #
# mailto:JOIN@joke-of-the-day.com #
# #
# or go here #
# http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/html/subscribe.html #
# #
# FREE FREE FREE FREE #
# #
#########################################################
==================================================================
To ADVERTISE, reaching more than 3,000,000 people per month
E-mail us at: SPONSOR@joke-of-the-day.com
==================================================================
TODAY's JOKE
December 22, 1997
====================
RESULTS:
Yesterday's "Marketing screw ups" did pretty well
A 5.4 from Joke-Of-The-Day.com Members
Rate the Joke below! and *** FORWARD TO FRIENDS ***
Spread The Fun
THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
(with pictures)
--------------------------
This is a classic. I'm sure many of you have seen it before, but it
generally gets a great giggle all of the time.
December 14, 1972
My dearest darling John:
Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in
a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred
times for thinking of me this way.
My love always,
Agnes
================================================
December 15, 1972
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle
doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just
adorable.
All my love,
Agnes
================================================
December 16, 1972
Dear John:
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve
such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must
insist, you've been too kind.
All my love,
Agnes
================================================
December 17, 1972
Dear John:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they
are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are
being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
================================================
December 18, 1972
Dearest John:
What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings,
one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.
Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on
my nerves.
All my love,
Agnes
=================================================
December 19, 1972
Dear John:
When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying
on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh? These
geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are
complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially,
Agnes
================================================
December 20, 1972
John:
What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming.
What kind of joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house
and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and
I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny.
So stop those freaking birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
================================================
December 21, 1972
O.K. Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with
8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and
8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their darn cows.
There is manure all over the lawn and I
can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.
Agnes
================================================
December 22, 1972
Hey Bonehead:
What are you.....some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing.
And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since
they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're
stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The
neighbors have started a petition to evict me.
You'll get yours !
Agnes
================================================
December 23, 1972
You rotten jerk:
Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those
sluts ladies. They've been playing around with those pipers all
night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea.
My living room is a river of crap. The Commissioner of Buildings
has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building
shouldn't be condemned. I'm calling the police on you !
Agnes
================================================
December 24, 1972
Listen you "#$%*_"
What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maid and ladies?
Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through
the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three
of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy.
I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.
You're sworn enemy,
Agnes
================================================
December 25, 1972
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling
which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.
The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come
to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at
Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to
shoot you on sight.
With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Law Offices
of
Badger, Bender and Chole
NOTE
If You have trouble seeing the images below, (AOL and others)
Please Change your FONT to Courier or to some
other fixed length font
It will make this and All of your e-mails easier to read.
A N D N O W T H E P I C T U R E S
THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS in ASCI
- Submitted by T.D.
---------------------------------
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Twelve Drummers Drumming
.-} .-} .-}
|_| |_| |_|
(_) (_) __ (_) .---.
| \ .--. | \.' '. | \/ \
|\_|--o ) |\_|--o ; |\_|--o |
|:| '--' |:|'.__.' |:|\ /
|:| |:| |:| `---`
|:|_ |:|_ |:|_
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
|M| |E| |R| |R| |Y| |X| |M| |A| |S|
(_) (_) (_) (_) (_) (_) (_) (_) (_)
/\Y/\ /\Y/\ /\Y/\ /\Y/\ /\Y/\ /\Y/\ /\Y/\ /\Y/\ /\Y/\
[XXX] [XXX] [XXX] [XXX] [XXX] [XXX] [XXX] [XXX] [XXX]
||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| |||
||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| |||
_|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Eleven Pipers Piping
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
,/_) ,/_) ,/_) ,/_) ,/_) ,/_) ,/_) ,/_) ,/_) ,/_) ,/_)
(") (") (") (") (") (") (") (") (") (") (")
/I\ /I\ /I\ /I\ /I\ /I\ /I\ /I\ /I\ /I\ /I\
(/^\) (/^\) (/^\) (/^\) (/^\) (/^\) (/^\) (/^\) (/^\) (/^\) (/^\)
||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| |||
||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| |||
_|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_ _|||_
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ten Lords A-Leaping
w w
w 0__ \0__
\0__ w /|_ w /_
/_ __0/ '\/ / \0_ '\/ / w
'\/ / /_ ` /_ ` __0/
` `\/ \, _\ \, /_
w ` `\/ \,
\0__ w w
/_ 0__ w \0__
_\ \, /|_ __0/ |_
` `\/ \, /_ _\ \,
`\/ /, `
Nine Ladies Dancing
|~
() () 0` |~
() _/)(\_ () _/)(\_ 0`
_/)(\_ /^^\ () _/)(\_ /""\
/~~\ /____\ _/)(\_ /``\ /____\
/____\ /""\ /____\ ()
() /____\ _/)(\_ ()
|~ _/)(\_ () /^^\ _/)(\_
0` |~ /``\ _/)(\_ /____\ /~~\
0` /____\ /~~\ /____\
/____\
Eight Maids A-Milking
__.----. __.----. __.----. __.----.___
(\(__)/)-' (\(__)/)-' (\(__)/)-' (\(__)/)-' ;--`
`(uu)' _ `(dd)' _ `(gg)' _ `(vv)' _ |
) ( (|) ) ( (|) ) ( (|) ) ( (|) |
(o o) 8~8 (o o) 8~8 (o o) 8~8 (o o) 8~8 ,/
`--'\_ (__).`--'\_ (__).'`--'\_ (__).'`--'\_ _(__)|
`|||~~/\|| `|||~~/\|| `|||~~/\|| `||~|| /\||
^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^
__.----. __.----. __.----. __.----.___
(\(__)/)-' (\(__)/)-' (\(__)/)-' (\(__)/)-' ;--`
`(99)' _ `(66)' _ `(aa)' _ `(ee)' _ |
) ( (|) ) ( (|) ) ( (|) ) ( (|) |
(o o) 8~8 (o o) 8~8 (o o) 8~8 (o o) 8~8,/
`--'\_ (__).'`--'\_ (__).`--'\_ (__).`--'\_ _(__)|
`|||~~/\|| `|||~~/\|| `|||~~/\|| `||~|| /\||
^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^
Seven swans A-Swimming
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
/,_ \ /,_ \ /,_ \ /,_ \ /,_ \ /,_ \ /,_ \ _,
|/ )/ |/ )/ |/ )/ |/ )/ |/ )/ |/ )/ |/ )/ / |
// _/ |// _/ // _/ // _/ // _/ // _/ // _/ |
/ (_/ / (_/ / (_/ / (_/ / (_/ / (_/ / (_/ _)
/ ` / ` / ` / ` / ` / ` / ` _/)
\ ~=- \ ~=- \ ~=- \ ~=- \ ~=- \ ~=- \ ~=- /
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Six Geese A-Laying
__ __ __ __ __ __
(' ) (' ) (' ) (' ) (' ) (' )
)/ , )/ , )/ , )/ , )/ , )/ ,
/(____/\ /(____/\ /(____/\ /(____/\ /(____/\ /(____/\
/ ) / ) / ) / ) / ) / )
\ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/ \ ` =~~/
`---Y-' __ `---Y-' __ `---Y-' __ `---Y-' __ `---Y-' __ `---Y-' __
~~' (__) ~~' (__) ~~' (__) ~~' (__) ~~' (__) ~~' (__)
Five Golden Rings
.-. .-. .-. .-. .-.
((_)) ((_)) ((_)) ((_)) ((_))
'-' '-' '-' '-' '-'
Four Calling Birds
___ ___ ___ ___
('v') ('v') ('v') ('v')
(( )) (( )) (( )) (( ))
-/-"---"---/-"---"---/-"---"---/-"---"--
Three French Hens
(\ }\ (\ }\ (\ }\
( \_(' ( \_(' ( \_('
(__(=_) (__(=_) (__(=_)
-"= -"= -"=
Two Turtle Doves
_ _
<')_,/ <') ,/
(_==/ (_==/
='- ='-
And a Partridge in a Pear Tree
_
('
/))@@@@@
/@"@@@@@()@
@@()@@()@@@@
@@@O@@@@()@@@
@()@@\@@@()@@
@()@||@@@@@
@@||@@@
||
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
================================================================
*** VISIT SOME OF OUR JOKE MEMBER's SITES ***
They Worked hard on them, so give 'em a look
Suzanne Glass http://www.etec-nm.com/chemistr.htm
Grenback http://www.angelfire.com/al/greenback/main.html
Neole http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Lair/1914/
Nicoe Blue http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/9280
Emily Isaac http://www.angelfire.com/ca/bobbin6/index.html
Diamond_10 http://www.angelfire.com/ks/diamond10/index.html
The Caffiend http://homepages.together.net/~beavis
Michele http://www.box.net.au/~bella/index.html
Jim Jensen http://www.geocities/Heartland/Meadows/~thejensens
The Peng http://members.aol.com/thepeng/tttmainframe.html
Krazy Kat http://members.wbs.net/homepages/k/r/a/krazycatz.html
Justin Wright http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Stage/1620
ILV9INNLS http://www.members.aol.com/ILV9INNLS/index.html
Nathan Richter http://members.tripod.com/~Nater19/index.html
Cain Sands http://members.tripod.com/~Hellstorm79
Keep up the good work!
*** TO BE LISTED HERE - and to get more than 1,000 visits to
your site you must have Joke-Of-The-Day's link and LOGO on your
site and preferably on your home page. (you can copy our logo
from our website)
After you have linked to us E-mail us your URL to:
Link@Joke-Of-The-Day.com
================================================================
--------------
RATE THE JOKE: From 1 - 7 (1 = Lousy, 7 = Hilarious)
--------------
If you received this e-mail directly from
Joke-of-the-day then just hit "REPLY" and type your
rating (1 - 7) in the message and send it to us.
IF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN FORWARDED to you, then send
e-mail to jokes@joke-of-the-day.com with rating
in body of the message. Results will be posted tomorrow
You will also be automatically subscribed to the list
-------------
SUBSCRIBE join@joke-of-the-day.com
------------- or better yet, subscribe through our website
and tell us what kind of jokes you like
http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/html/subscribe.html
-------------
UNSUBSCRIBE Unsubscribe-JOKE_OF_THE_DAY@gs1.revnet.com
------------- Must be sent from your original e-mail system.
-------------
QUESTIONS Info@joke-of-the-day.com
-------------
-------------
SUBMIT A JOKE SubmitJoke@joke-of-the-day.com
------------- We will list your name, unless otherwise instructed
We do not accept copyrighted material. All
Jokes are either written by us
or are believed to be in the public domain. Thank You.
Joke-Of-The-Day is powered by GroupMaster from Revnet
Easy email list management - http://www.groupmaster.com/joke.html
Copyright 1997 JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com / TWT. All Rights reserved
Permission is granted to reprint or distribute Joke-of-the-Day's
Jokes as long as this full copyright notice is included
including the subscription information
To get a joke everyday, E-mail us at Subscribe@joke-of-the-day.com