Humor: Airlines & Operating Systems

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

If Operating Systems Ran Airlines...

        DOS Airlines

Passengers are handed maps, compasses, rulers, pencils, and an airplane
manual (shrink wrapped) as they enter the plane.  They have to figure out how 
to
get the plane to wherever they want to go.  Some succeed very well. Others
crash, but they shouldn't have been messing around with the airplane anyway.

          MAC Airlines

All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers and ticket
agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same.  Every time you ask
questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to
know, and everything will be done for you without you having to know, so
just shut up.  The captain is considered to be a deity, and there are
religious services during the flight.

          OS/2 Airlines

To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped 10 different times by
standing in 10 different lines.  Then you fill out a form showing where you
want to sit, and whether it should look and feel like an ocean liner, a 
passenger
train, or a bus.  If you succeed in getting on board the plane, and the plane
succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderful trip . . . except for
times when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you
have time to say your prayers and get yourself prepared before the crash.

          Windows Airlines

The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards, and easy
access.  Security is lax, and almost everyone has access to the plane.  The
plane has a colorful, if uninspiring, paint job.  The takeoff is easy and
uneventful, but then the plane suddenly explodes without any warning.

          NT Airlines

Everyone marches out on the runway,  says the password in unison and forms
the outline of a plane. Then they all sit down and make a whooshing sound
like they're flying.

         *Nix Airlines

Everyone brings one piece of plane with them when they come to the airport.
People aquire whatever parts of the plane they feel they want or need, then
assemble the plane in whatever fashion they desire.  They all go out on the
runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about
what kind of plane they're building.  When complete, they hope it flies to 
their
destination safely.