jihadfaq-2

[Brian Cluff <fm@generation-i.com>]

Dungeons and Dragons Character

Barney the Dinosaur "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."

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CLIMATE/TERRAIN:        Nine Hells, Gehenna, Hades, The Abyss, PBS
FREQUENCY:      Very rare or daily at 4 pm
ORGANIZATION:   Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET:   Little children's minds
INTELLIGENCE:   Insipid (-12)
TREASURE:       Merchandising contracts
ALIGNMENT:      Purple evil
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 NO. APPEARING: 1 (may be attended by 1-100 Barney zombies,
             see below)
 ARMOR CLASS:   10 (big and plush)
 MOVEMENT:      3
 HIT DICE:      8
 THAC0: 12
 NO. OF ATTACKS:        2
 DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-10 (x2)
 SPECIAL ATTACKS:       Hug (damage 3-30)
 SPECIAL DEFENSES:      Aura of intolerable idiocy
 MAGIC RESISTANCE:      90%
 SIZE:  L (8' tall)
 MORALE:        Stupid (30)
 XP VALUE:      4,000

   Barney is a demon from the lower planes, a great purple and plush
   deformed dinosaur. It is the enemy of intelligent lifeforms, eternally
   seeking out small children and feeding on their natural intelligence
   and curiousity.
   
   Combat: Barney will normally attack with it's two great paws, each
   inflicting 1-20 points of damage. If a victim is struck with either
   paw and fails a saving throw versus paralyzation, they are dragged to
   Barney and may be hugged next round. A hug inflicts 3-30 points of
   damage each round until the victim or Barney is killed.
   
   Barney may also utter a 'Power word "I love you"' once every three
   rounds. Any adults hearing the power word must save versus spells or
   flee in terror for 1-6 rounds. Any child hearing the power word must
   save versus spells or be controlled by Barney. He or she will
   thereafter follow Barney's commands with a delightful smile, and is
   subject to continued brainwashing. Each day that a child is in
   Barney's control they may be taught another lesson by Barney,
   decreasing their intelligence and wisdom by 1. When either stat
   reaches zero, the child becomes a mindless Barney zombie! Barney
   zombies follow his commands with love and a delightful smile, and
   eagerly spend gold coins on Barney merchandise.
   
   Barney is constantly surrounded by an aura of intolerable idiocy. Any
   individual within 20' must save versus spells once per round or lose 1
   point of intelligence. When intelligence reaches zero, the victim
   falls to the ground in a quivering, gibbering wreck. Intelligence may
   be regained at the rate of 1 point per day afterwards. In addition,
   the aura tends to make spells go awry, tactics to fail, and mundane
   items to become intelligent with their own insipid personalities.
   
   Habitat/Society: Barney resides in a great temple and television
   studio on the lowest plane of the Abyss, with areas extending into
   every lower plane and prime material plane via transdimensional gates.
   He is constantly surrounded there by 1-100 Barney zombies clutching
   plush dolls and lollipops, which they may use as +2 maces in combat.
   

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