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humor 2000: Ranch Humor

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List

>>> Sender: Maurice Boardman

I think that a pair of mockingbirds
with black and white markings
and a large dorsal fin would be
two killer mockingbirds.

Maurice also sent along some anagrams
	mockingbirds == docking brims
        == go mind bricks == grim dock bins


A Texan was visiting a Maine farmer ("fahmah").
The Texas rancher was  boasting to his host about
the size of his ranch: "I can get into my pickup
truck and drive all day and still not reach the
boundary of my ranch", he bragged.

The Mainer shook his head knowingly, and replied,
"Aayuhh, I had a truck like that once"

             _  _____________________________________  _
            / )|        Thomas S. Ellsworth          |( \
           / / |        tellswor@slonet.org          | \ \
         _( (_ |   http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor   | _) )_
        (((\ \>|_/ )_____________________________( \_|</ /)))
         \\\\ \_/ /                               \ \_/ ////
          \      /   The two biggest problems in   \      /
           \   _/    America are making ends meet   \_   /
           /  /        and making meetings end.       \  \

A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended
to raise cattle.  Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch
had a name.

"Well," said the would-be-cattleman. "I wanted to call it
the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q. One son liked the
Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're
calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y Ranch."

"But where are all your cattle?"

"So far, none have survived the branding."

	This reminds Nick of the man who called his
	cattle ranch FOCUS, since that where his
	SONS RAISE MEAT.  There is a joke there, but
	you need a magnifying glass to see it.

			   GET IT?    HELLO?

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              humor                            1.94.3 9908