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humor 2000: Sunday Stuff / WISHES FOR THE NEW CENTURY
Nick's G-Rated Humor List
OK, OK, I KNOW ... It should have been "New",
not Nerw" in the last mailing. So sue me!! :-)
Today's Anagram: "The Morse Code" == "Here come Dots"
From MIKEY'S FUNNIES, brought to you
by Mike Atkinson @ YOUTH SPECIALTIES
Youth Ministry on the Net:
Real Help for Real Ministry
WISHES FOR THE NEW CENTURY
May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs, and your stocks not
fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol,
your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.
May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist,
your gastroenterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your
podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber, and the IRS.
May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere during rush hour in
less than an hour, and when you get there may you find a parking space.
May Friday evening, December 31, find you seated around the dinner table,
together with your beloved family and cherished friends, ushering in the
New Year ahead. You will find the food better, the environment quieter,
the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything
else you might ordinarily do that night.
May you wake up on January 1 finding that the world has not come to an end,
the lights work, the water faucets flow, and the sky has not fallen.
May you go to the bank on Monday morning, January 3 and find your account
is in order, your money is still there, and any mistakes are in your favor.
May you ponder on January 4, "How did this ultramodern civilization of ours
manage to get itself traumatized by a possible slip of a blip on a chip
made out of sand?"
May you have the strength to go through a year of presidential campaigning,
and may some of the promises made be kept. May you believe at least half
of what the candidates propose, and may those elected fulfill at least half
of what they promise, and the miracle of reducing taxes and balancing
May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you
May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish
dinner, may your checkbook and your budget balance, and may they include
generous amounts for your church and charities.
May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse,
your child, and your parent(s). You can say it to your secretary, your
nurse, your butcher, your photographer, your masseuse, your seamstress,
your hairdresser or your tennis instructor, but not with a "twinkle" in
May we live as intended, in a world at peace with the awareness of the
beauty in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile
and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.
And, may you forward this on to someone that could use a smile and a laugh
to brighten their day.
Bless you with every happiness, great health peace, and much love during
the next year and all those that follow.
[forwarded by Dic-a-do]
And Mikey added the following:
A Prayer for Today:
"O Lord, please save us from the incessant use of the word 'millennium' in
the new millennium (even if it's NOT a new millennium for another year!)"
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will
call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will
seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
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