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humor: oct 17 -- Sunday Stuff

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List

My home church welcomes all denominations,
but mainly they prefer tens and twenties.
		The Joke Review <jokes@alpha1.net>


Here are some prayers reportedly from kids.
One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer. "Now I lay me
down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow's test, if I should die
before I wake, that's one less test I have to take."
A little boy's prayer. "Dear God, please take care of my daddy
and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me.
Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to
you, we're gonna be in a big mess."
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned
to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say
the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother said. The little
girl bowed her head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did I
invite all these people to dinner?"
And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash
baskets us we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

I've heard a rumour that last time the Pope came to America,
they sold "Pope memorabilia".  They sold one plastic figure
of him holding his arms out, with perforations along the arms,
for use as a garden sprinkler.  They called it "Lettuce Spray".


 Reality Check		SERIOUS STUFF!

A person asked God,
	"What surprises you most about mankind?"

And God answered:
	"That they lose their health to make money,
	 then lose their money to restore their health.
	 That by thinking anxiously about the future,
	 they forget the present, such that they live
	 neither for the present nor the future.
	 That they live as if they will never die,
	 and they die as if they had never lived..."

"But this is no real surprise to me, for what may be known about Me
was plain to them -- I made it plain to them. Ever since the creation
of the world, My invisible qualities -- My eternal power and divine nature
-- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so
people are without excuse.

"For although humankind once knew me, they neither glorified Me as God
nor thanked Me, so their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts
were darkened.  Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and
exchanged My truth for a lie, and worshiped and served created things
rather than Me, their Creator -- who they should praise forever."

            >>> adapted from Paul's letter
                to the Christians in Rome

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908