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[humorix] Linux And China, A Clarification

Alert reader Martijn Faassen (faassen@vet.uu.nl) forwarded
us this RSE rant that appeared today on several Linux

Linux And China, A Clarification
By Raymond S. Eric

In a November 11th Linux Today story[1], I expressed the
Linux community's vast relief upon finding that the
allegations that Linux will be adopted by Communist China
as its official OS appear to be untrue. This story was then
deliberately misreported on "Humorix", the terroristic
propaganda site for the new Humorixia nation[2].  Humorix
in short stated that I thought china was a bad idea and
that we should all break it. This caused unwarranted and
unnecessary commotion within the china (porcelain)

Some explanatory remarks are in order. While it is well
known within both the Linux community and the china
community that I am a gun nut, few in both communities are
aware that I am also member of the other community. In
fact, few in these communities are aware of even the
existence of the other community; I appear to be the only
person that is a member of both communities. Incidentally I
happen to be a spokesman for both communities.

In the past, I have avoided presuming to speak for both
communities at the same time. This time, however, I think I
may safely say that china and Linux are a golden match.
Insofar as the communities interact at all, members of the
open-source movement are known to have used china cups for
their beverage needs on occassion. It is untrue that all
hackers drink jolt all the time; some are known to drink
tea or coffee, in cups. Members of the china community may
not use open-source software directly, but they should know
that the Internet infrastructure uses vast quantities of
open-source software. In particular the website
www.openporcelain.org, which is run by myself, is powered
by a Linux/Apache combination.

This golden bond between the two communities is very
valuable. The attempt by the government of Humorixia to
estrange the two communities from each other is nothing but
a vicious and cynical fraud.

There are a few of us who have a soft spot for the
theoretical Splatzian ideal of "from each as much
proprietary software packaging materials as possible, to
each the generated electricity"; but I am certain that even
that minority would not care to be associated with the
totalitarian and murderous government of Splatzian
Humorixia -- unrepentant perpetrators of numerous
atrocities against lawyers. After all, my wife, one of the
great unsung heroes of both communities[3], is a lawyer[4].

It may be too much to hope that this statement will head
off a flurry of snide opinion pieces divagating about "the
china-breaking Raymond Eric"; the clumsy rhetoric of some
of our past jolt-from-the-bottle-drinking ambassadors[5]
may have made that outcome inevitable. But the prospect of
being "identified" with the bloody-handed gerontocrats
behind the Great American Lawyer Massacre would be, I
believe, genuinely revolting and insulting to all of us.

No matter that such official Humorixian government
sponsorship might add a quarter of the planet's geek
population to our user base; if this is "world domination",
we'll want none of it. I have guns, Splatzies, so don't
even think of trying to come near my wife. To hell with
splatznost; this is a war to death between opposing
ideologies -- nuke the Splatzie bastards!

[1] http://linuxtoday.com/stories/12221.html
[2] http://i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/nov99.shtml#Humorixia
[3] http://www.tuxedo.org/~esr/disclosure.html
[4] http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/business/longterm/microsoft/stories/1998/raymond120398.htm
[5] http://slashdot.org

Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
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