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humor: sep 06 -- more puns

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
For those of you who realized that I had already sent out some of Sunday's
material in August, here is some more stuff.  Which I probably already sent
out too.  Sigh.  I gotta lie down now.....

First, a pun from Tom Ervin ---

Did you hear about the Broadway producer
  who is doing a musical version of
 	   - - - - - -
      The tentative title is

Now three puns from Jerry ---.

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm
shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Please calm down. You'll just
have to be a little patient."

	[Or did the doctor say, "Don't be short with me."?]

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the
local civic official who apologized profusely saying .... "I must have
taken Leif off my census."

Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
However, all the league records unfortunately were destroyed in a fire.
Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled

  Taken from the GROANERS mailings
  of Stan Kegel <kegel@fea.net>

Gary Hallock:
	There's a deadly snake in the African Congo that will
	drop down from branches as your jeeps drive through,
	and attach itself to your car's frontal glass.
		... It's called the windshield viper.

Scott Ryan:
	A dermatologist's office is a site for psoriasis.

Cynthia MacGregor:
	Mary went to the antiques store and bought a small,
	old-fashioned, kerosene lighting device but unfortunately
	found it infested with small albino insects that had
	recently vacated their former home on a feline. What
	did Mary have?
	 ... Mary had a little lamp.
	 Its fleas were white as snow

Stan Kegel:
	My brother and I were walking along the street to a friend's house.
I was maybe half-a-step in front of him, and out of the corner of my eye I
saw him look up and then down really quickly. I turned around and didn't
see anything, so I asked him, "What did you see?"

	"A bird."

	Looking around again I still didn't see anything.
	I asked "Where, in the sky?"

	He said, "No, digging a tunnel."

	To which I replied,
	"Oh, I see.  ... A mynah bird."

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908