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humor: sep 10 -- Friday Funny Fodder

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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            / )|    Thanks to Thomas S. Ellsworth    |( \
           / / |           "Good Clean Fun"          | \ \
         _( (_ |   http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor   | _) )_
        (((\ \>|_/ )_____________________________( \_|</ /)))
        (\\\\ \_/ /                               \ \_/ ////)
         \       /     Nick picked out some        \       /
          \    _/      really good ones from        \_    /
          /   /        Tom's recent emailings         \   \

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.  We
went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the driver's side door.

As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered it was open.  "Hey," I announced to the technician,
"It's open!"

"I know," answered the young man.  "I already got that side."


Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"
His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."
Johnny says, "WOW!  I can see why they threw him out!"

Emailed to TOM from another humor list (Gag-O-Matic)
Info on subscribing: www.lowcomdom.com/joke_of_the_day.html

A recent retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking
he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he
knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing,
then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto
the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow
asked the speechless pro.

"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup." the pro finally said,
once he was able to speak again.

"Oh great!", the beginner replied, "NOW you tell me!"


Sally had three very active boys.  One summer evening she was playing cops
and robbers in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys "shot" his
mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead!" She slumped to the ground and when
she didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been
hurt in the fall.

When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said,
"Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day".

Cartoon corrections, or "Don't sit under the wrong Appleton
    with anyone else but me".  Subscribers write ....

DUDLY DO-RIGHT (Rocky and Bullwinkle Show)
You'll probably get lots of responses regarding this but...it was not
Crabby Appleton, it was one Snidely Whiplash who habitually tied Sweet Nell
to the railroad tracks (or some other position of Imminent Life-threatening
Danger!!!)  Enter Dudley DoRight of the RCMP to the rescue!!!
			---- Sue S.

There was a crabby guy on one of the Mickey Mouse Club series with "apple"
in his name, but it was AppleGATE, and the series was "The Hardy Boys," not
"Spin and Marty."  (Since teen actor Tim Considine appeared in both, it's
easy to get them mixed up.)
			----  Clarissa

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908