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humor: oct 14 -- You Know You're From ....
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Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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Bob Di Giorgio sent this to me today.
Hey Bob, are you kidding?!!
NEWS FLASH!!!!!
What may have been the first known actual
Y2K hit was reported today by ABC News.
In Maine, people who mailed in registrations
for their brand new 2000-model cars received
Horseless Carriage plates intended for antique
automobiles. :-)
You Know You Live In The
North West (USA) If You ...
* Believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent
boating deaths.
* Believe swimming should only be done indoors, except in emergencies
* Wave at people who drive Ford explorer sport utility vehicles like
yours. Basically, you just drive down the road waving.
* Can point in the direction of two or more volcanoes even though you
can't see them through the clouds.
* Think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there once
* Go to work and return home in the dark in the winter, even though
you only have an eight-hour work day.
* Find that when the weather gets above 60 degrees, you replace your
hiking boots with Birkenstock or Teva sandals.
* Believe people who use umbrellas are wimps, Californians, or both.
* You are sitting at a downtown red light. The light turns green and
the car in front of you does not move. You do not honk. After two
more light changes, you approach the driver to ask if they need
any assistance.
* You look in your closet to get dressed and you are stumped on
whether to put on your fleece vest, fleece pants, or just go for
the fleece jacket. Then you're stuck when you decide for the
jacket and are confused on which of your six colors you should
choose.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
YOU MUST BE FROM PHILADELPHIA IF...
* You realize that your favorite dessert is wooder ice.
(It comes in churry, strawburry, and other assorted flavors.)
* You find yourself using "Yo" and "Youse guys" when talking
long distance to family members.
* You know how to spell Schuylkill.
* You think $2,500 for insurance on a '79 Toyota is a bargain.
* You find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking, "This would only
be three bucks at a truckstop."
* You can sleep soundly through gunshots in the neighborhood.
* You visit New York and notice how clean it is.
* You believe that the car on your side, flashing its turn signal,
wants you to close the gap with the car in front.
* You can't eat fries without Cheeze Whiz.
* You find street people greet you by first name.
* You don't think Wawa sounds funny.
* You snub a cheesesteak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.
* Your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles all live on the
same block.
* You love scrapple for breakfast.
* You took a vacation at the shore (and liked it).
* You know where to find the Rocky statue.
* Only tourists go to Geno and Pat's for an authentic cheesesteak.
* You buy soft pretzels at a traffic light.
++++++++++++++++++++
YOU MIGHT BE A MICHIGANDER......
* If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding.
* If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake.
* If snow tires come standard on all your cars.
* If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
* If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
* If you can identify an Ohio accent.
* If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.
* If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off
your bike.
* If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.
* If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people
where you grew up.
* If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
* If someone aks you if you've been to Europe and you answer,
"No, but I've been to Ann Arbor".
* If "Down South" to you means Toledo.
* If octopus and hockey go together as naturally
as hot dogs and baseball.
* If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to
Muskegon.
* If you think "going up north" would be a great vacation...
in January.
* If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or
Domino's, Little Ceasar's and Hungry Howie's.
* If a Big Mac is something you can drive across.
* If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island.
* If you had to get a passport to go to Ohio.
* If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones.
* If your kid's baseball and softball games have ever been snowed out.
* If the trees in your backyard have spigots.
* If you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists.
* If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop".
* If you drive 70 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
* If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus.
* If you have a favorite hockey team.
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Thanks to "The Funnies" /////////////////////////////
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humor 1.94.3+ 9908
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