humor: jul 23 -- Definitions

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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Hi, gang.  I'm back from vacation.
Let's see if you have seen these
definitions before ....

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		Thanks also to Ed's Jokes
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**Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't
realized it yet.

**Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n
She bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes,
diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but
he "made the dinner."

*Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

*Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n
Gotta get married in a church.

*Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.

*Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with
a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

*Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.

*Exercise (ex*er*siz) v
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally
resting to make a purchase.

*Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n
Similar to a black hole in space --- if he goes in,
he isn't coming out anytime soon.

*Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come
off if you try to remove it.

*Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds,
and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.


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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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