[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

humor: jul 28 -- Once aPUN a time.



=======================================================================
                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
=======================================================================

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
  Taken from the GROANERS mailings
  of Stan Kegel <kegel@fea.net>
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


My friend said that he had a dog that talked in his sleep.
Skeptical, I went to see.

In front of the fireplace lay a hound fast asleep. He mumbled
"I've just written a best seller." Later, he said, "I've just
returned from the moon."

I was impressed and said so. "But, he tells lies," I said.

"Yes, he does," said my friend. "But that's OK. When you have
a talking dog, you've got to make allowances. I find that ...
it's best to let sleeping dogs lie."


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


The Thoroughbred

In the world of racehorses the thoroughbred does not have much of a chance
to enjoy his coltishness. Soon after he is strong enough to gambol about
the pasture with his mommy mare, the owner will decide that the young
prospect should be taught the meaning of the bridle and bit.

Soon the young horse is hard at work, sprinting, being broken from the
starting gate and realizing he must respond with speed to a jockey's
command. The colt's pleasant pasture time has become a thing of the past
and very soon he realizes ... that a foal and his mummy are soon parted.
			(By Bennett Cerf)


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sponts Comment:
	As a golfer you have to have good fore-sight.

Song Title:
	When Gilligan & the Skipper
	left on their 4 hour cruise:
	"Dumb Uncharted Leaving" (By Ken Pinkham)

David Young:
	The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant,
	a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea
	transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas transplant."
	"Whoa. Slow down there fellow. What makes you think
	you need all these organ transplants?" asked the doctor.
	"Well," replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted
	to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."

Extra:
	A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest.

 =======================================================================
 ARCHIVES OF PAST ISSUES: http://www.NicksHumor.net/archive
 =======================================================================
 Thanks for telling your friends about this humor list.
 Send G-Rated submissions to: submit@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
TO SUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: subscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: unsubscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO SWITCH TO DIGEST VERSION OF LIST:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: set digest
 Do not type any other words.
 You will receive 1 message per week with all jokes from previous week.
=======================================================================
 To report trouble with list send to: help@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
                      humor                            1.94.3+
=======================================================================