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[humorix] New OS Released: Yodix

New Operating System Released: Yodix
Dave Finton (surazal@nerp.net)
May 31, 1999

Most Linux fans (who are also Star Wars fans) were not
surprised to learn that Bob Smith of Sometown, Iowa, today
released the Yodix operating system, which is closely
related to Linux.  Yodix is identical in every respect to
the Open Source operating system except that the GNU
utilities such as bash, cp, rm, emacs, and so forth are
tweaked a little bit so that the output and error messages
of said commands are styled after the sayings and
witticisms by the now-famous Yoda character from Star Wars.

In addition to these changes, a filter has been put in the
OS so that the the kernel determines the wisdom of the
action you are to perform before actually executing the
command, and it also determines whether said command leads
the user towards good or towards the Dark Side.  This
feature prevents script kiddies from running exploits from
their computers (providing they are running Yodix), since
the operating system absolutely refuses to perform any
function designed to harm or destroy.

Here are some examples of the output generated when running
commonly typed commands under Yodix:

# pwd
Know you not where you are.  Show you I shall.

# make bzImage

# uptime
When 900 years you be, look this good you will not.

# cd /win95
Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it dominate
your destiny!

# winnuke
That, my friend, will lead you to the dark side.  Help you
I will not.

# rm -rf /
Idiot you are.  Yeeesss.

# rm -rffffffff /
Luke, keyboard you are at, hmmm?

# ls /usr/src/yodix
Yoda!  You seek Yoda!

# shutdown -h now
Luke... there is... another... Sky... walker... <system

[Note from the Author:  I'd like to have people send back
some suggestions for additional commands.  If anyone has an
addition to make please email me at surazal@nerp.net.

Once I compile all the commands I deem worthy of my
approval (you must also bow to me and praise my name unto
the heavens from now until next Thursday), I will post the
final version in an as-yet-unspecified date.  I will give
credit where credit is due, of course.]

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