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Joke: R.I.P. (read in peace)

R.I.P. (read in peace)


            [XXX   Here lie some   XXX]
            [XXX    really great      XXX]
            [XXX     epitaphs....     XXX]

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery,
Nova Scotia:
             Here lies
             Ezekial Aikle
             Age 102
             The Good
             Die Young.

In a London, England cemetery:
             Ann Mann
             Here lies Ann Mann,
             Who lived an old maid
             But died an old Mann.
             Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
             Anna Wallace
             The children of Israel wanted bread
             And the Lord sent them manna,
             Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
             And the Devil sent him Anna.

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
             Here lies
             Johnny Yeast
             Pardon me
             For not rising.

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania
             Here lies the body
             of Jonathan Blake
             Stepped on the gas
             Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
             Here lays Butch,
             We planted him raw.
             He was quick on the trigger,
             But slow on the draw.

A lawyer's epitaph in England:
             Sir John Strange
             Here lies an honest lawyer,
             And that is Strange.

Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
             I was somebody.
             Who, is no business
             Of yours.

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco,
Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in
the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
            Here lies Lester Moore
            Four slugs from a .44
            No Les No More.

In a Georgia cemetery:
             "I told you I was sick!"

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
             Reader if cash thou art
             In want of any
             Dig 4 feet deep
             And thou wilt find a Penny.

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond,
            She always said her feet were killing her
            but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
             On the 22nd of June
             - Jonathan Fiddle -
              Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an
epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges
             Here lies the body of our Anna
             Done to death by a banana
             It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
             But the skin of the thing that made her go.

More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London,
             Gone away
             Owin' more
             Than he could pay.

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
             In Memory of Beza Wood
             Departed this life
             Nov. 2, 1837
             Aged 45 yrs.
             Here lies one Wood
             Enclosed in wood
             One Wood
             Within another.
             The outer wood
             Is very good:
             We cannot praise
             The other.

On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
             Under the sod and under the trees
             Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
             He is not here, there's only the pod:
             Pease shelled out and went to God.

The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is
almost a consumer tip:
             Who was fatally burned
             March 21, 1870
             by the explosion of a lamp
             filled with "R.E. Danforth's
             Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
             Born 1903--Died 1942
             Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
             the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
             Here lies an Atheist
             All dressed up
             And no place to go.