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Joke: Strange Headlines

SAY WHAT?  (Newspaper Headlines)
Auto Repair service. Free pick-up and delivery.
Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated?
Come here first! Now is your chance to get
your ears pierced and get an extra pair to
take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery.
We do it carefully by hand.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for
the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while
you drink it all in.

"two-headed" newspaper headlines
cold wave linked to cold temperatures

enfield couple slain; police suspect homicide

red tape holds up new bridge

typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead

man struck by lightning faces battery charge

new study for obesity seeks larger test group

kids make nutritious snacks

lansing residents can drop off trees

man minus ear waives hearing

squad help dog bite victim

killer sentenced to die for second time in ten years