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Joke: Bumper Stickers

I love cats ... they taste just like chicken

Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes.

Cover me.  I'm changing lanes.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... ...
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car ...

MONTANA-At least our cows are sane!

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

Wink, I'll do the rest!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

i souport publik edekasion

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

We are Microsoft.  Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home.

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

HELP! The paranoids are after me.

I may be slow, but I'm ahead of YOU, dammit!

My kid beat up your honor student

Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.

Did it ever occur to you health nuts that the extra years you're adding
on are spent running and exercising?