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Humor: Jobs I used to have

Jobs I used to have:

I used to work in an orange juice factory, until I got canned. Yeah, 
they put the squeeze on me, said I couldn't concentrate. You know, same
old boring rind over and over again. 

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave 
me the axe.

I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.  It was a 
sew-sew job.

I used to work in a muffler factory, until I got exhausted.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

I wanted to be a chef, figured it would add a little spice to my life,
but I just didn't have the thyme.

I used to be a deli worker, but I couldn't cut the mustard

I used to be a musician, but I wasn't noteworthy.

I used to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.