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Joke: June 5 - Advice from Men to Women
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TODAY's JOKE
June 5, 1998
====================
RESULTS:
Yesterday's "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" brought chcukles (but
not roars from most)
A 4.8 from Joke-Of-The-Day.com members.
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ADVICE FROM MEN TO WOMEN
- Submitted by Kay Carrie
------------------------------------
GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR
GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPEN UPON A COPY OF THIS:
1) The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
2) Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume
that I will come home with the wrong thing.
3) When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can
still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during
timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be
limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of
getting an immediate response.
4) When we are watching your show and I change the
channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they
are over to change the channel back. I always know when
the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing
do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
5) If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing
to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is
half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.
6) If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do
something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend
to discuss it.
5) If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes.
And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making
that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything
yet and if I do it will be your fault.
6) I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
7) Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get
dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten
minutes no matter what the occassion is. After all I am
getting dressed, not getting ready.
8) Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a
certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a
no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get
dressed while watching TV.
9) If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished
then you should leave the seat up when you are finished.
It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the
bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.
10) I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
11) Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like
stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring
you.
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