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Joke: April 7 - How to Write a Recommendation Letter you don't me



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                               TODAY's JOKE
                              April 7,  1998
                           ====================
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     How To Write A Recommendation Lettter That You Don't Really Mean 
                          - Submitted by Uri Dub
    =================================================================
THE PROBLEM
Having to write letters of recommendation for people with very
dubious qualifications can cause serious legal troubles in a time when
laws have eroded the confidentiality of business letters. In most
states, job applicants have the right to read the letters of
recommendations and can even file suit against the writer if the
contents are negative.

THE SOLUTION
Here is an arsenal of statements that can be read two ways:
You  are able to state a negative opinion of the ex-employees poor work
habits, while allowing the ex-employee to believe that it is high
praise. When the writer uses these, whether perceived correctly or not
by the ex-employee, the phrases are virtually litigation-proof.

1. To describe a person who is extremely lazy: 
   "In my opinion," you say  as sincerely as you can manage, 
    "you will be very fortunate to get this person to work for you."

2. To describe a person who is totally inept:
   "I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no 
    qualifications whatsoever."

3. To describe an ex-employee who had problems getting along  
    with fellow workers:     "I am pleased to say that this candidate 
    is a former colleague of mine."

4. To describe a candidate who is so unproductive that the job 
   would be better left unfilled:  "I can assure you that no person 
   would be better for the job."

5.To describe a job applicant who is not worth further consideration:
   "I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an 
   offer of  employment."

6. To describe a person with lackluster credentials: 
   "All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this 
    candidate or recommend him too highly."

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