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38 Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

1. A few clowns short of a circus.
2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. 
4. A few beers short of a six-pack.
5. Dumber than a box of hair.
6. A few peas short of a casserole.
7. Doesn't have all her Corn Flakes in one box. 
8. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. 
9. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
10. One taco short of a combination platter. 
11. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
12. All foam, no beer.
13. The cheese slid off her cracker. 
14. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
15. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
17. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
18. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way
19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
 20. As smart as bait.
 21. Chimney's clogged. 
22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
 23. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril a 
hair.[Carruth, Marilyn]  
24. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. 
25. Forgot to pay her brain bill. 
26. Her sewing machine's out of thread. 
27. His antenna doesn't pickup all the channels. 
28. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. 
29. If she had another brain, it would be lonely. 
30. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. [Carruth, Marilyn]  
(Oh, oh look out DAD)
31. No grain in the silo. 
32. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. 
33. Receiver is off the hook. 
34. Several nuts short of a full pouch. 
35. Skylight leaks a little. 
36. Slinky's kinked. 
37. Surfing in Nebraska. 
38. Too much yardage between the goal posts. [Carruth, Marilyn]