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FW: customer support

 Actual telephone conversation from WordPerfect Customer Support 

 "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
 "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
 "What sort of trouble?"
 "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
 "Went away?"
 "They disappeared."
 "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
 "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
 "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
 "How do I tell?"
 "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"
 "What's a sea-prompt?"
 "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
 "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I 

 "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
 "What's a monitor?"
 "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  Does it
 have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
 "I don't know."
 "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the 
power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
 "Yes, I think so."
 "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged 
into  the  wall."
 "Yes, it is."
 "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were 
two  cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
 "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the 
other  cable."
 "Okay, here it is."
 "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the 
back of your computer."
 "I can't reach."
 "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
 "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
 "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because 
it's  dark."
 "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming 
in  from  the window."
 "Well, turn on the office light then."
 "I can't."
 "No? Why not?"
 "Because there's a power outage."
 "A power  ...  A power outage?  Aha!  Okay, we've got it licked 
now.  Do  you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff 
your computer  came  in?"
  "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
 "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just 
like it  was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you 
bought it from." 

 "Really? Is it that bad?"
 "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
 "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
 "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."