humor 2000: Writers!

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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Today's Anagram:  That Queer Shake == The Earth Quakes
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Exercising Opinions:
	Exercise?  Sure!
	I jump to conclusions.


The following gems come from
Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
To Subscribe to the CleanLaugh list,
send a blank e-mail to:
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a
great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff
that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional level -- stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and
anger!"   He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.


Rules for Writers
-----------------
1.  Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2.  Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3.  And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4.  It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5.  Avoid clichés like the plague.  (They're old hat.)
6.  Be more or less specific.
8.  Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9.  Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Don't use no double negatives.
12. Proffered carefully to see if you any words out.
-----------------------------------------------------


FANCIFUL MERGERS
++++++++++++++++

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil:
The new company will be called 'Honey I'm Home'

Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining:
The new company will be called 'Mine, All Mine'

3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company:
The new company will be called '3 Penney Opera'



	#########################################
	Thanks to those of you who sent me a
	birthday greeting --- and to those of you
	who did not.  It's nice to get a few, but
	hundreds would be a burden.   :-)
	#########################################


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