humor 2000: Science Quotes ; Other Quotes

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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I am reading a very interesting book about
anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Theory of relativity: the more relatives
visiting you, the slower the time passes.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.



The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people
make up 75% of the world's population.

Flashlight:  A case for holding dead batteries.

Shin:  A device for finding furniture in the dark.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands
of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.


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Free Replacement Offer
A women accidentally ran over her neighbor's cat
while driving down the street. She stopped, very
upset, and ran to the door to apologize.
  'I'd like to replace it,' she told the neighbor.
  'Really? You know how to catch mice?'


More discoveries that come with age.
====================================
A "senior moment"?  Naw -- I'm just in screen saver mode.
Once you are over the hill, you start picking up speed.

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              humor                            1.94.3 9908
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