humor: oct 18 -- Monday Musings

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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Ryan Condron sent these to me ... thanks, Ryan!!
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The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC:

Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
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STUDENT BLOOPERS --- Subscriber Debra Figueroa reports....
My daughter was doing a report on Martin Luther King Jr.
and was making reference to the pledge of allegience.
In it she quoted "...with justice and puberty for all."

Y2K "BUG" IS CONFIRMED
Bob Di Giorgio confirms that he heard this
on ABC news and it was also reported on the
Jim Lehrer News Hour on PBS.
>	What may have been the first known actual
>	Y2K hit was reported today by ABC News.
>	In Maine, people who mailed in registrations
>	for their brand new 2000-model cars received
>	Horseless Carriage plates intended for antique
>	automobiles. :-)

Bob also comments on the six-billionth human:

	As you probably noticed, the UN determined in advance
	that Baby 6B would be a Bosnian. It was one of the UN's
	greatest covert actions, to successfully keep women in
	labor all over the world from giving birth before that
	Bosnian baby was born. Which just goes to show, that
	when the effort is considered important enough, the UN
	can get something done, after all.


THE GREAT CARNAC
================

Steve Allen (and later, Johnny Carson)
had a comedy bit in which some mindless
mind-reader would answer questions before
they were asked.

TODAY'S ANSWERS ARE ....

1. Black and white and twenty feet tall.

2. Gatorade.

3. Bible belt.

4. Dustin Hoffman.

5. Until he gets caught.

6. "Rose Bowl."

7. That darn cat.

8. Gunga din.

9. Igloo.

10. Grape Nuts.

11. Supervisor.


THE QUESTIONS ARE ....

1. Describe Sister Mary Kong.
2. What does an alligator get on welfare?
3. What holds up Oral Roberts' pants?
4. Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman.
5. How long does a United States Congressman serve?
6. What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling alley?
7. Who ruined that darn rug?
8. What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga?
9. What do you use to keep your (w)ig from falling off?
10.What are Ernest and Julio Gallo?
11.What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes?

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