humor: nov 03 -- Quotes and Puns

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

=======================================================================
                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
=======================================================================

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
  Taken from the GROANERS mailings
  of Stan Kegel <kegel@fea.net>
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Tony Blair
	"I never make predictions.
	 I never have and I never will."

>From Richard Lederer (children's misquote):
	America, America,
	God's red Chef Boyardee.

Scientific Bloopers from Richard Lederer:
	Heredity means that if your grandfather didn't have
	any children, then your father probably wouldn't have
	any, and neither would you, probably.

Alan F. G.  Lewis:
	He called me woodenhead.
	So I gave him a piece of my mind.
	Now he's got a chip on his shoulder.

Terry Galen:
	Those who work on reducing auto emissions go home exhausted.

Aiken Drum:
	How did the mouse get out of the Russian Cathedral?
	He clicked on an icon and opened a window.

Dave Gawlik:
	Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters
	exclusively to lawyers?  It's called Sosumi.

Paul Benoit:
	A friend of mine asked me if my Halloween costume was a pun.
	I told her it was. I had a shirt and tie, camouflage pants
	and combat boots. I was a lower GI.



From: Angel <gsangel@lightspeed.net>

	A science teacher brought his 3 year old son to school with him, so
he could show his son what he did. While teaching class, his son said,
"Look Daddy, a paramecium!"
	The father and all the students were astonished that a three year
old new a large word like that. Then they noticed the boy pointing to the
back of the room. He was pointing at a cage with 2 white mice in it.
	And said again, "Look, Daddy, a pair of meice ... see'um?".

 =======================================================================
 ARCHIVES OF PAST ISSUES: http://www.NicksHumor.net/archive
 =======================================================================
 Thanks for telling your friends about this humor list.
 Send G-Rated submissions to: submit@NicksHumor.net
-=======================================================================
 SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE online: http://www.nickshumor.net/subscribe.html
=======================================================================
 To subscribe, unsubscribe or change to digest version of this list
 send an empty email message to:  info@nickshumor.net
=======================================================================
 To report trouble with list send to: help@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908
=======================================================================