humor: nov 21 -- Church Bulletin Bloopers

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS

A worm welcome to all who have come today.

Don't miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.

We have received word of sudden passing
of Rev. Smith this morning during
the worship service. Now let's sing
"Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow."

Glory of God to all and peas to his people on earth.

Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form,
enclose a check and drip in the collection basket.

Applications are now being accepted
for 2 year-old nursery workers.

Brother Lamar has gone on to be the Lord.

Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well with my Solo"

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.

We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the
church building and the rector.

Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be
water baptized on the table in the foyer.

Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.

Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.

Thank you dead friends.

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.



Hymn: I am Thin, O Lord.

I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, even though he
diets, yet shall be live.

Hymn: I Need Three Every Hour


My joke is easy and my burden is light.

Hymn of Response: Crown Him With Many Cows

Child care provided with reservations.

Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas.

When parking on the north side of the church,
please remember to park on an angel.

Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's
used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Giving Credit... many bulletin bloopers are from a
book called "Anguished English" by Richard Lederer.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>  Pilgrims are best viewed in a fixed-width font
>
>         __
>          /  \
>        _/=Ll=\_
>       [________]         ___
>        ||/""\||        .'___`.
>        ( 6. 6 )       / /"""\ \           __,  ,__,
>         \_--_/        |( 6 6 )|          (--|  |
>      .-[\~--~/]-.      ~\_-_/~              |--|  _  _  _
>     /  \      /  \     .-' '-.             _|  | (_||_)|_)\_|
>    / _, `----' ,_ \   /\_____/\           (    |_,  |  |  ,_|
>    \  \|      |/  /  / ,_/^\_, \
>     \  >==[]==<  /   \_(_|-|_)_/     _______,
>      \/__.''.__\/     //=====\\     (--|  _,    (_,
>        |  TT  |      //       \\       | |_  _ ._ |__, ,  _ '  ',_  _
>        |  ||  |     //         \\     _| | |(_|| || \ /_)(_||\/|| |(_|
>        |  ||  |    /'---,___,---'\   (     |_,       \_, ,_|       ,_|
>        |__||__|   /   /       \   \
>        [__][__]   '--,_________,--'
>        |_ || _|        |_ | _|
>        (__)(__)        (__)__)
>
>
>*************************************************************************


ALL BETS ARE OFF!  HERE'S AN UPDATE from JASON ...

Is "0" an even number?  I thought it was neither odd nor even.
If so, wouldn't the next all even date be 2/2/2222?
Or is it like a wildcard, considered either odd or even.
If so, wouldn't the next all odd date be 1/1/3000?

	Jason is correct.  Strictly speaking,
	zero is neither odd nor even.
				Nick
	P.S.  But in the case of 2/2/2000, I prefer to
	believe that this is an all even date, it being
	my birthday (I should live so long!).    :-)


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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908
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