humor: aug 23 -- Conversational Latin

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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  --- Conversational Latin 101  ---

  Die dulci fruere.
        Have a nice day.

  Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.
        Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.

  Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus
  alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
        If you can read this sign, you can get a good job
        in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!

  Sona si Latine loqueris.
        Honk if you speak Latin.

  Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum!
        Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

  Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput
  tuum saxum immane mittam.
        I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will
        fling an enormous rock at your head.

  Gramen artificiosum odi.
        I hate Astroturf.

  Furnulum pani nolo.
        I don't want a toaster.

  Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare.
        I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

  Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
        I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.

  Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo.
        Don't call me, I'll call you.

  Cave ne ante ullas catapultas ambules.
        If I were you, I wouldn't walk in front of any catapults.

  Canis meus id comedit.
        My dog ate it.

  Illiud Latine dici non potest.
        You can't say that in Latin.

  Vidistine nuper imagines moventes bonas?
        Seen any good movies lately?

  Nullo metro compositum est.
        It doesn't rhyme.

  Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
        I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.

  Fac ut gaudeam.
        Make my day.

  Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica
  Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!
        Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt
         and the plaid jacket!

  Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio.
        Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway.

  Re vera, potas bene.
        Say, you sure are drinking a lot.

  Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
        May barbarians invade your personal space!

  Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant!
        May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!

  Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
        May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!

  Radix lecti
        Couch potato


			HAND! Have A Nice Day!
			DDF!  Die dulci fruere.

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908
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