humor: aug 27 -- Mikey's Jokes

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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A Texas billionaire had fallen ill.  Doctors consulted did not seem to
understand what ailed him.  The billionaire let it be known that any doctor
who could heal him could have whatever he desired.

A country doctor was finally able to cure him and as the doctor was leaving
after a week's stay, the Texan said, "Doc!  I am a man of my word.  You
name it and if it is humanly possible, I'll get it for you."

"Well," said the doctor, "I love to play golf, so if I could have a
matching set of golf clubs that would be fine." With that the doctor left.

The doctor didn't hear from the Texan billionaire for some months.  Then
one day he got a phone call from the billionaire.  "Doc, I bet you thought
that I had gone back on my word.  I have your matching set of golf
clubs.  The reason it took so long is that two of them didn't have swimming
pools and I didn't think they were good enough for ya.  So I had pools
installed and they're all ready for you now!"

--------------



A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction
disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications
equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the
helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten
sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE
AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large
sign, and held it in a building window.  Their sign read "YOU ARE IN A
HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer
to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU
ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because
they gave me a technically correct, but completely useless answer."

------------

The math teacher saw that little
Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, "Johnny!
What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC,
CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

-------------

Little Johnny's kindergarten class
was on a field trip to their local
police station where they saw pictures
tacked to a bulletin board of the
ten most wanted criminals. One of the
youngsters pointed to a picture and
asked if it really was the photo of
a wanted person.

"Yes,"  said the policeman.  "The detectives
want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep
him when you took his picture?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     From MIKEY'S FUNNIES, brought to you
     by Mike Atkinson @ YOUTH SPECIALTIES
 http://www.YouthSpecialties.com/special/lists.html
           Youth Ministry on the Net:
        http://www.YouthSpecialties.com
           Real Help for Real Ministry
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908
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