Fw: travel funnies

["Brennon Davies" <brdavies@globalcenter.net>]

>>>Travel Funnies
>>>------------------------------------
>>>Why Americans should never be allowed to travel
>>>
>>>The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
>>>
>>>* I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair
>>>wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
>>>
>>>*A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.  After
>>>going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to
>>>fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
>>>
>>>* I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.  I
>>>started to explain the length of the flight and the  passport
>>>information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make
>>>you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying
>>>to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod
>>>is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."  Her response ... click.
>>>
>>>* A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked
>>>what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was
>>>expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
>>>possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,
>>>"Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
>>>state."
>>>
>>>* I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England
>>>from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the
>>>map."
>>>
>>>* Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
>>>When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover
>>>in Dallas.  When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said,
>>>"I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive
>>>between the gates to save time."
>>>
>>>* A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible
>>>that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at
>>>8:33am.  I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of
>>>llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
>>>Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
>>>
>>>* A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
>>>description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?"
>>>I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in
>>>with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and
>>>I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold
>>>for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I
>>>came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that
>>>the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
>>>
>>>* I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know
>>>which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he
>>>replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
>>>darn planes have numbers on them."
>>>
>>>* "A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of
>>>those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on
>>>a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
>>>
>>>* A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
>>>needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
>>>passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.  "Oh no I don't, I've
>>>been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I
>>>double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I
>>>told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and
>>>every time they have accepted my American Express."
>>>
>>>* A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago
>>>to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words.
>>>Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
>>>"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some
>>>searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked
>>>up every airport code in the country  and can't find a Hippopotamus
>>>anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh  don't be silly. Everyone
>>>knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured  a map of the
>>>state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean  Buffalo, do
>>>you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
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