[humorix] The Best of M$ Quotes (i.e breaking in the new listserver)

[Ken Williams <jkwilli2@unity.ncsu.edu>]

yes, they are all real, and i've got the mail headers to 
prove it. :)

-----

"How can I prevent students from changing the text of 
'My Computer' to 'This Sucks'?" 
-- Peter Dalmaijer, Teacher, NT Security mailing list

"I know AOL sucks shit, that's why I'm using IRC instead." 
-- Unknown user on IRC

"Win98 is just like a higher quality heroin.. 
it's still not good for us." 
-- Capone

"The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck, is 
probably the day Microsoft starts making vacuum cleaners." 
-- Ernst Jan Plugge

"I could make a 486/33 look like a Cray..." 
-- NT Security mailing list

"Each day I receive about 50 messages from this list 
about the moral implications of port scanning." 
-- Pete Morton, NT Security mailing list

"One of these days, we'll have to have you out behind 
the woodshed for being such a rabble-rouser." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"I don't mind people bashing me and MS for what we do wrong." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"It is ironic that, if we had not made networking, TCP, and 
a standard API to use them as an integral part of the OS, the 
Web might not be ubiquitous, because the ability to get on the 
web would be beyond the powers of most users, who would have 
to acquire and integrate all those things themselves." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"So you wanted to get access to the Internet. You called up 
an ISP, they sent you a pile of diskettes via snail-mail, 
you installed them. Takes about a week." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"Yeah -- we love staying up all night providing patches that 
close off each port, one by one, as smart crackers change 
which port they hit." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"You may accuse us of incompetence if you like." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"We can't seem to stop the DoS attacks." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"We deliberately and cynically make the smallest band-aid 
fixes we can, just enough to convince customers that the 
problem is fixed when it really isn't." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"If it is incompetence, then it isn't just confined to us." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"Hmm, well we're hoping that once we get our COFFEE protocol 
running, we'll be able to control all the coffee makers in 
the world." 
-- Josh Cohen, Microsoft Corporation

"Dont assume that I'm an NT supporter." 
-- Josh Cohen, Microsoft Corporation

"I caught our network printer one night last week trying 
to surf the web!" 
--  Peter Unk, NT sysadmin

"Be a hero and point out how stupid MS is for believing 
that obscurity equals security." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"It is always running after I reboot." 
-- Paul Leach, Microsoft Corporation

"We're very, very concerned about privacy issues and the 
perception of privacy issues, so this is not going to be 
there in Windows 2000." 
-- Steven Sinofsky, Microsoft vice president

"We're not using these IDs for marketing or for tracking 
user behavior. It's not something were interested in doing." 
-- Rob Bennett, Microsoft Windows 2000 group product manager

"I would say most people don't quite get how computers work, 
and they're suspicious of computers in general. That's 
probably why a lot of these privacy concerns are happening." 
-- Steven Sinofsky, Microsoft vice presiden

"I would like to know specifically a single instance where 
someone said they were lied to. If anyone is lying, it's 
the government." 
-- Greg Shaw, Microsoft executive

"We will strengthen cooperation with all parties, including 
the Chinese government, to accelerate the development of the 
information industry, with the government setting an example 
of leadership through this project." 
-- Bill Gates, Shenzhen, China, 3/11/99

"Microsoft China is committed to working closely with the 
Chinese government and industry to provide China with the 
latest and most advanced technology and products to contribute 
to China's drive in building up a knowledge economy for the 
next century." 
-- Juliet Wu, general manager of Microsoft China, 3/11/99

"Despite the hype, the numbers about personal computing and 
the Internet, we're going to look back on how we're doing 
things today and think of it as very primitive, even in 
10-years time." 
-- Bill Gates, 4/14/99

"We have made some progress, but people's expectation of 
software, the scale of system, the level of reliability that 
they want out of these systems, still greatly exceeds what's 
possible." 
-- Bill Gates, 4/14/99



"There is plenty of room at the bottom. We'll be waiting for you." 
-- ken's boss, to ken, on 6/18/99


take it easy,

Ken Williams

ken@packetstorm.harvard.edu
Packet Storm Security  http://packetstorm.harvard.edu               


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Humorix:      Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
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