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Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side
An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting
Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this
position would like galactic travel and possess a complete
understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate
a willingness to learn.
Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on
intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives,
ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of
laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered space/air vehicles.
Some slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is also required, which
may be performed using the Force or hand weapons.
Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills
(especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be
action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in study
of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be
acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant course
work in Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant.
Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection
equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes
of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate. A
proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control
others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak several galactic
languages. Ideal candidates for this position would also have no
children or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the
Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this
Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience,
and is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a
generous severance package, a company starship, and a dark-
colored clothing allowance. The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and
works closely with the Sith Master, and experience in such small,
team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master's
plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the
future before it happens. Applications will be accepted until the end
of July. Transmit them to email@example.com.
Dark Side CG (TM) is a small and highly-focused organization,
founded a long time ago in a galaxy far away. Our core values
reflect the short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for
institutional power and the long-term desirability of controlling the
galaxy. We provide direction to our partner organizations through
knowledge management, incident control and our rapid on-site
intervention expertise. Our partnered organizations include the
Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and
many large software companies.
Dark Side CG (TM) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.
6.9 cents a min long distance Flat 24hrs http://ld.net/?bthelin