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humor: may 30 -- Sunday Stuff
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Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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A geometry teacher told me, "A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, and a
five-sided one is called a pentagon."
"What about two sided ones?" I asked.
"They don't exist," was his response.
"I beg to differ! I think we should
just let bi-gons be bi-gons."
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From: Just 4 Laughs Humor List
Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local
mental hospital, is examining patients to see
if they're cured and ready to re-enter
society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of
his patients, "I see by your chart that you've
been recommended for dismissal. Do you have
any idea what you might do once you're
released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then
replies, "Well, I went to school for
mechanical engineering. That's still a good
field, good money there. But on the other
hand, I thought I might write a book about
my experience here in the hospital, what it's
like to be a patient here. People might be
interested in reading a book like that. In
addition, I thought I might go back to college
and study art history, which I've grown
interested in lately."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all
sound like intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is,
in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot."
==========
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an
experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them
to disperse some people who were loitering.
The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing
on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get
off the corner."
No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!"
Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances
in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman
turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"
"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "considering this was a bus stop."
============ SERIOUS STUFF =============
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them,
and they follow me." John 10:27
When it comes to intelligence, sheep have a really low priority.
To put it bluntly, sheep are dumb. But they have one characteristic
that seems to give them some saving grace. They can distinguish
between sounds. With all that bleating going on around them, they
can pick out the cry of their own babies, but even more important,
they can discern the call of their shepherd from all the others.
The psalmist often refers to us as sheep, i.e. "My sheep hear my
voice and follow."
At first we may not hear the Lord's voice because our spiritual ears
are untrained to detect it above the tumult and noise of the circum-
stances of our lives. But later as we become more aquatinted with His
voice, even the finest sounds on earth will not be mistaken for the voice
of our Shepherd.
From: USN58@aol.com
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