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[humorix] Humorix Files for IPO
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- Subject: [humorix] Humorix Files for IPO
- From: James Baughn <firstname.lastname@example.org>
- Date: Sat, 05 Jun 1999 21:48:17 -0500
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Humorix Files for IPO
June 5, 1999
In a move to capitalize on the burgeoning open source
movement and the exploding demand for Linux humor content,
our parent company, Humorix World Domination, Inc., has
filed with the SEC for an Initial Public Offering of
US$129.95 worth of common stock. The IPO is underwritten
by Silverman, Flaks & Co., Tom Weasal Partners LLC, and
E*Raid Securities, Inc. As per SEC rules, we cannot make
any comments about the IPO or our company, but we have
attached below our prospectus summary. The full S-1
prospectus can be obtained at the SEC website by searching
for the NASDAQ ticker symbol FAKE.
HUMORIX WORLD DOMINATION, INC.
We are a leading provider of online Linux humor, news,
parodies, and other content. Our PORTAL Web site, HUMORIX,
is a popular source of Linux, Microsoft, and Slashdot humor
for an expanding worldwide community of geeks. We are
committed to serving the interests and needs of Linux humor
readers and to sharing all of our content with the open
OUR MARKET OPPORUNITY
The rapid growth of the Internet in recent years has
accelerated the development of Linux and open source
software. This rapid growth equates to an increasing
demand for Linux humor and diversions. Our PORTAL Web
site, Humorix, has received a 512% increase in traffic over
the last ten months.
We seek to enhance our position as a leading provider of
Linux humor and related services by:
- Continuing to enhance our PORTAL Web site with frequently
updated humor material, including (but not limited to) fake
news, parodies, and ficticious business documents.
- Expanding the HUMORIX brand awareness in the Linux
community by bribing the maintainers of Slashdot and other
prominent Linux sites into frequently plugging the Humorix
PORTAL Web site.
- Forging strategic alliances with other Linux companies;
we agree not to make fun of them if they advertise on our
PORTAL Web site.
- Expand into new products and services; for instance, sell
a bunch of cheap Taiwan-made T-shirts and mouse pads with
the Humorix logo slapped on them.
SUMMARY FINANCIAL DATA
(From July 25, 1998 to May 31, 1999)
Gross income: $71.12
Amazon.com referrals: $1.12
DreamHost referrals: $70.00
DreamHost PORTAL Web site hosting: $100.00
Domain name: $100.00
ElCheapo*Bytes Linux CD Set: $15
Net profit (loss): ($143.88)
SUMMARY OF RISKS
THIS OFFERING INVOLVES A HIGH DEGREE OF RISK. YOU SHOULD
CAREFULLY CONSIDER THE RISKS DESCRIBED BELOW BEFORE
DECIDING TO INVEST IN THE SHARES OF COMMON STOCK.
RISK #1: WE MIGHT GET SUED
Big Evil Companies (BECs), the kind of institutions that
Humorix frequently pokes fun at, employ large legal
departments ready and able to file lawsuits over defamatory
content or trademark violations. While Humorix is mostly
protected from BECs by the First Amendment and the Fair Use
Doctrine, such legal protections may not be sufficient
defense against a well-paid legal team out for blood,
especially if said team is based in Redmond.
RISK #2: MICROSOFT COULD ACQUIRE US
The threat of Microsoft Acquisition (MA) is an omnipresent
danger for any tech company. MA and the subsequent
"assimilation" of Humorix employees and culture would have
a negative impact on our financial success, to say the
RISK #3: WE MIGHT RUN OUT OF LINUX HUMOR IDEAS
Only a finite number of humor pieces can be written before
every possible joke has been told two dozen times. Such a
calamity has already happened to numerous print comic
strips, most notably Dilbert(R) where every other strip
pokes fun at the stupidity of the Pointy Haired Boss(tm).
Moreover, Peanuts(R) and The Family Circus(R) have never
been funny, however we sincerely don't expect Humorix to
ever degenerate to that level.
RISK #4: OUR AUDIENCE MAY START SPENDING MORE TIME HAVING A
LIFE IN THE REAL WORLD AND LESS TIME SURFING PORTAL WEB
While we predict that this disaster only has a .01% chance
of happening, it is something we can't readily prepare
RISK #5: OUR ABILITY TO GENERATE REVENUE FROM
ADVERTISEMENTS MAY BE ADVERSELY AFFECTED IF SUFFICIENT
NUMBER OF USERS REALIZE THAT THEY CAN EASILY BYPASS
ADVERTISEMENTS BY TURNING OFF IMAGES IN THEIR BROWSER
While our subliminal advertisements embedded in the source
code to our PORTAL Web site are effective, they alone would
not be able to meet our expenses.
RISK #6: THE HUMORIX STAFF HAS ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE HOW TO
RUN A BUSINESS
James S. Baughn
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