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humor: Chocolate!
This was forwarded by Keith Thomas to "Mikey's Funnies"
<Mikeys-Funnies@youthspecialties.com>
THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,
you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries
all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store
in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the
edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate
to protect themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is
that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake
of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
<> <> ELEVEN POSTERS FOR THE UNMOTIVATED <> <>
Mistakes Stupidity Mediocrity
Agony Defeat Failure
Losing Ineptitude Procrastination
Apathy Futility
These are located at the web site.
http://www.soe.ucsd.edu/~jhsieh/unmotivational/