why did the chicken cross the road???

["Brian Thelin" <Bthelin@IdahoAccess.com>]

                THE INTELLECTUAL CHICKEN

              For all you philosophers out there.....

Q: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
A: SEE BELOW

Darwin: 
-------
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically 
dispositioned to cross roads.

Freud: 
-------
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Machiavelli: 
-------------
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever
motive there was.

Albert Camus: 
---------------
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions 
have no meaning except to him.

Oliver Stone: 
--------------
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time 
whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Bill Clinton: 
--------------
It wasn't me. I wasn't chasing the chicken. There was no 
inappropriate
relationship between me and the chicken

Newt Gingrich
--------------
Because the Chicken was kicked out of the coop.

Jerry Seinfeld: 
--------------
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place anyway?"

Martin Luther King, Jr.: 
------------------------
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads 
without having their motives called into question.

Immanuel Kant: 
--------------
The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross
the road of his own free will.

George Orwell: 
-------------
Because the government had fooled him into thinking
that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was 
really
only serving their interests.

Karl Marx:
--------------
It was a historical inevitability.

Nietzsche: 
------------
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Jean-Paul Sartre: 
------------------
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Albert Einstein: 
-----------------
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Buddha: 
-------
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:   
---------------------
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway: 
-----------------
To die. In the rain.

Bill Gates: 
-----------
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will
both cross roads, balance your checkbook, and solve your Y2K 
problem

Colonel Sanders of KFC: 
------------------------
I missed one?


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