Joke: Rain Forest

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

YO, LATTE?

Officials in Brazil say they have found a previously undiscovered tribe
possessing unknown customs and speaking a never-before-heard language.
They live in a nearly inaccessible portion of the Amazon rain forest.
"Starbucks has arranged to open there early next week."
						--Dennis Miller
ShopTalk, 18 Jun 98 <ShopTalk@listserv.syr.edu>



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There once was a village and all of the people that lived there were
called Trids.  They were very short people about 2 feet tall.  And a
Giant lived there too and everyday he would come around and kick them.

A Rabbi heard about this and decided to go see him.  He was very nervous
about meeting him.  He got there and the Giant invited him in for lunch.

They had a nice conversation.  The  Rabbi then told him of his
nervousness, how he had heard about him kicking the Trids.
He thought the Giant might hurt him.

The Giant said, "Silly Rabbi, Kicks are for Trids.


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I don't know who wrote this song, but it is real:
   "When Veronica played her harmonia
    on the pier down in old Santa Monica"
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a subscriber had some comments about:
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, teacher. I'm eight years old today.

His reply was:
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Ten.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, teacher. I'm eight years old at noon today.

(On my last birthday, I was seven until noon, then eight. Today,
I'm eight until noon. One year from now, after noon I'll be ten).

Did you know...
Every year BEFORE your birthday, you can say "I'm (insert age) now,
and I'll be (age plus 2) next year". For example, if your birthday
is on Oct 10th and you're 48 now, you can say "I'm 48 now, but next
year I'll be 50".


"TWO-HEADED" NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
================================
DOCTOR TESTIFIES IN HORSE SUIT
COMPLAINTS ABOUT NBA REFEREES GROWING UGLY
GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT MAKES HOLE IN ONE
DEAF MUTE GETS NEW HEARING IN KILLING
DEFENDANT'S SPEECH ENDS IN LONG SENTENCE
MEN RECOMMENDED MORE CLUBS FOR WIVES
MANY ANTIQUES SEEN AT D.A.R. MEETING
IKE SAYS NIXON CAN'T STAND PAT
S. FLORIDA IS CUT IN HALF BY NEW LAW
POL NEW LAW
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
POLICE DISCOVER CRACK IN AUSTRALIA
TUNA BITING OFF WASHINGTON COAST
STIFF OPPOSITION EXPECTED TO CASKETLESS FUNERAL PLAN
MAN HELD OVER GIANT L.A. BRUSH FIRE
TRAFFIC DEAD RISE SLOWLY
		--- Thanks, you-know-who!


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REASON #173 TO FEAR TECHNOLOGY...

   o      o     o    o     o    <o     <o>    o>    o
  .|.    \|.   \|/   //    X     \      |    <|    <|>
   /\     >\   /<    >\   /<     >\    /<     >\    /<

    Mr. Asciihead learns the Macarena.

John Chadwick <CHADWICK@darwin.nmmnh-abq.mus.nm.us>
Jim Thompson <jim@hosaka.SmallWorks.COM>
Keith Bostic <bostic@bostic.com>