Joke: Who's on start

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

Costello: Hey, Abbott!
Abbott:   Yes, Lou?
 
Costello: I just got my first computer.
Abbott:   That's great, Lou. What did you get?
 
Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a
24X CD-ROM.
Abbott:   That's terrific, Lou.
 
Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!
Abbott:   You will in time.
 
Costello: That's exactly why I'm here to see you.
Abbott:   Oh?
 
Costello: I heard that you're a real computer expert.
Abbott:   Well, I don't know . . .
 
Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.
Abbott:   Really?
 
Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbott:   O.K. Lou. What do want to know?
 
Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should
be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbott:   That's true.
 
Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it
off. What do I do?
Abbott:   Well, first you press the Start button, and then . . .
 
Costello: No, I told you I want to turn it off.
Abbott:   I know, you press the Start button . . .
 
Costello: Wait a second.  I want to turn it Off.  I know how to start it.
So tell me what to do.
Abbott:   I did.
 
Costello: When?
Abbott:   When I told you to press the Start button.
 
Costello: Why should I press the Start button?
Abbott:   To shut off the computer.
 
Costello: I press Start to stop?
Abbott:   Well, Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
 
Costello: I knew it!  So what do I press?
Abbott:   Start.
 
Costello: Start what?
Abbott:   Start button.
 
Costello: Start button to do what?
Abbott:   Shut down.
 
Costello: You don't have to get rude!
Abbott:   No, no, no!  That's not what I meant.
 
Costello: Then say what you mean.
Abbott:   To shut down the computer, press . . .
 
Costello: Don't say, "Start!"
Abbott:   Then what do you want me to say?
 
Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press
the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in
their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbott:   But that's what you do.
 
Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbott:   Don't be ridiculous.
 
Costello: I'm being ridiculous? Well, I think it's about time we started
this conversation.
Abbott:   What are you talking about?
 
Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.