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Joke: August 10 - GATES IN HELL



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                              TODAY's JOKE
                             August 10, 1998
                           ====================
RESULTS:
Yesterday's WEEKEND FUNNIES did pretty well as usual
A 5.2 from Joke-Of-The-Day.com members.

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                       GATES IN HELL
                   -------------------
The US Justice Department - unable to sentence Bill Gates 
to any meaningful economic fine decided that his punishment 
would be more severe - and sentenced him to eternity in Hell.

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for 
you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been 
selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Frankly releasing 
Windows 95 two years early, would by itself, have landed you here. 
But enough of that. 

"You've arrived on a day when I'm in a good mood, so I'll 
be generous and give you a choice of three places in which 
you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions 
of poor souls are being tormented and tortured. He then takes 
him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are being 
chased about and devoured by starving lions. 

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a 
beautiful young woman with an alluring look on her face, 
at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. 
To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. 

Without hesitation thinking he outsmatred the devil, 
Bill says "I'll take this option." 

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. 
Satan then locks the door.

As Satan turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was 
Bill Gates!cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best 
room in the house?" 

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.

"The vintage bottle of wine you see - It has a hole in it.

"That Beautiful young lady - She doesn't"

"What about the PC?"

"Oh, If you look carefully, you'll see that it crashed!" 
laughed Satan. 
"And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

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