Jokes: Marital Bliss and Assassins

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

Marital Bliss

There's a lot to be said about marital bliss...

A while back there was an opening in the CIA for an assassin. These highly
classified positions
are extremely difficult to fill, requiring an extensive background check,
training, and testing
before candidates are even considered for the position.  After reviewing
several applicants and
completing all the checks and training, the field was narrowed to the three
most promising
candidates. The day came for the final test, which would determine which of
equally qualified candidates, would get the job.


The final candidates consisted of two men and one woman. The men
administering the test took the first candidate, a man, down a corridor to
a closed door and handed him a gun saying, "We must be completely assured
that you will complete your assignments and follow instructions regardless
of the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife, seated in a
chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man, looking completely shocked
said, "You can't be serious! I could never kill my wife." The CIA man said,
"Well, then, you're obviously not the man for the job. Take your wife and
go home." They brought the next candidate in, the other man, and repeated
the instructions.  This man took the gun, walked into the room and closed
the door. However,
after five minutes of silence, the door opened and the man handed the CIA
tester the gun, saying, "I just couldn't do it. I couldn't kill my wife. I
tried to pull the trigger but I just couldn't do it."  The CIA man said,
"Well, then, you're obviously not the man for the job. Take your wife and
go home."

Then they brought the woman down the corridor to the closed door, handed
her a gun, and said, "We must be completely assured that you will complete
your assignments and follow instructions regardless of the circumstances.
Inside this room you will find your husband, seated in a chair. Take this
gun and kill him." The woman took the gun, walked into the room, and before
the door closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing. One
shot after another, for thirteen shots, the noise continued.  Then all hell
broke loose. For the next several minutes, the men heard screaming,
cursing, furniture crashing and banging on the walls; then suddenly,
silence. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the
sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded
with blanks! I had to beat him to death with the chair!"