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Joke: July 11/12 - Weekend Funnies
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TODAY's JOKE
July 11/12, 1998
===================
RESULTS:
Yesterday's HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT did great
Almost everybody liked it
A 5.8 from Joke-Of-The-Day.com members.
Rate the Joke below! and *** FORWARD TO FRIENDS ***
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THE OIL PAINTING
- Submitted by Rubin
------------------------------------
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the the artist....
....."Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond
necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex. "
"But you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my>husband.
I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want
his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.
*******************
Interesting FACTS
* Coca-cola was originally green.
* Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
* Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever;
* Dumbest dog: Afghan
* Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
* Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
* Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they
grew up: 1 in 2
* Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one
olive from eac hsalad served in first class: $40,000
* City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
* State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
* Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4
*******************
Murphy's Law of the Day
"The sum of the intelligence of the planet is constant;
the population is growing.
*******************
WHICH BUS AM I ON
- Submitted by W. lison
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the
aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, I've got news for you.
"You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Dammmmmn, I'm on
the wrong bus!"
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